/th-dreamer

Which I would appreciate if more people answer :D I asked only once heh.

How does it feel to love your parents and/or siblings?

I want answers cuz I can't answer the qn. Treat it as sort of a survey.

For me, the first step was to find out if I actually love them, which was no. So there's that.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate them. I'm grateful to my parents for tolerating me;

Paying for my living expenses and what not. To find out if I love my family, I asked myself;

What's my most memorable experience with them? If I lost them how would I react?

Most memorable:

First thing that came to mind was that when I was pretty little, in our first/old house;

I was crying on a sofa in the storeroom. And my dad was at the door, shouting at me;

Threatening to sell me. He used his phone too I think. I cant rmb any before/after.

If gone:

Ok I guess. Less/no more shouting in the house (he's very short tempered).

One less person to discuss history/politics/science and stuff.

None actually. Life between us is pretty mundane. I can rmb times with her, but nth memorable.

There goes the sole-breadwinner in the family (we have complicated financial background)

No one to give my allowance, buy clothes for me or understand my female needs XD

Idk but we used to argue a lot. Now we barely talk. She almost killed me by throwing stuff;

Like remotes, boxes a what not. At my head. My agility is trained.

I don't care since now we pretty much completely ignore each other anyway.

Then gone lor. My parents no need spend so much on her high maintaining and uni fees.

I tried ok. I tried to fit in, to talk and bond. I gave up. It didnt work.

I'm always the odd one. They provided for me, but never really cared.

They didn't know how much it hurt when they didnt want to go for the prize ceremony.

I came in 2nd in sch for PSLE damnit! Just a couple of hours, to be there, they didnt want.

He used to take me to Sembawang park when I was small, watch me playing in the playground;

Eating biscuits with me, walking with me to see the ppl fishing and look at their catch.

He took me to the hill near his house when he played golf. He taught me how to, patiently.

He watched science films with me and explained when I asked retarded questions.

He brought me to Fosters' for ex western food on my birthday. Just 2 of us. It was really special.

Every month last time he used to change a big white piece of paper on his table;

Just so I could doodle and draw on it. He let me stay and enjoy aircon in his room;

And chatted with me when I stayed over. He brought me to the Istana too on CNY last time :D

This is very real, both of them are very old. He's healthy I guess, but alcoholic.

I would cry. And miss him and him bringing me out and everything. Everything.

She brought me out specially for meals. She stayed up and took care of me when I was ill.

Really stayed up. Everynight when I stayed over we would pray together, just before bed.

She'll patiently go through exam papers and taught me new words. Really patient.

Watch tv and chat with me. Idk, but I'm sure there's more. Really lots more.

I would cry and cry. The very thought makes me cry. She's the one that really brought me up.

Laid the foundations of my morals and my life. She was old and could hv not cared;

But she cared with everything she had. She's naggy, but I try my best to tolerate her.

I guess I took her for granted. Whenever I've an award, I'll tell her first. She cares.

I guess I'm scientific. Laying out evidence and asking questions.

There's always upsides and downsides to everything. I am not obliged to love my parents;

Who contributed to my chromosomes and welfare. The Bible says honour thy parents.

I honour them, I'm grateful to them, but I do not love them.

The conclusion is obvious. I love my maternal grandparents.

It's ok, the world is moving too quickly for anyone to stop and admire the view.

one sees clearly only with the heart what is essential is invisible to the eye
Jac elyn. The slightly deranged teenager getting ready for the zombie apocalypse, also addicted to sugary/sweet stuff and junk food. MLIA. Longer profile & list of links.
Preludes to the nights to come / It begins. / Decorated Soldiers / Keep your eyes set. / Meow. / Would you show / Selfish (draft 1?) / Quick Snap-lock / Burn in the light. / Something Good Can Work. /
Lost, or just less found? Monday, August 29, 2011 Quick post cuz it's insanely late and me wakey early later. And I'd qns on my mind; Which I would appreciate if more people answer :D I asked only once heh. How does it feel to love your parents and/or siblings? I want answers cuz I can't answer the qn. Treat it as sort of a survey. For me, the first step was to find out if I actually love them, which was no. So there's that. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate them. I'm grateful to my parents for tolerating me; Paying for my living expenses and what not. To find out if I love my family, I asked myself; What's my most memorable experience with them? If I lost them how would I react? Here's the results if you bother. (Click 'Read More') Dad Most memorable: First thing that came to mind was that when I was pretty little, in our first/old house; I was crying on a sofa in the storeroom. And my dad was at the door, shouting at me; Threatening to sell me. He used his phone too I think. I cant rmb any before/after. If gone: Ok I guess. Less/no more shouting in the house (he's very short tempered). One less person to discuss history/politics/science and stuff. Mom Most memorable: None actually. Life between us is pretty mundane. I can rmb times with her, but nth memorable. If gone: There goes the sole-breadwinner in the family (we have complicated financial background) No one to give my allowance, buy clothes for me or understand my female needs XD Younger sis Most memorable: Idk but we used to argue a lot. Now we barely talk. She almost killed me by throwing stuff; Like remotes, boxes a what not. At my head. My agility is trained. If gone: I don't care since now we pretty much completely ignore each other anyway. It's not that I hate her, its just that I don't care. Older sister Most memorable: Idk and Idc. We do talk I guess. If gone: Then gone lor. My parents no need spend so much on her high maintaining and uni fees. ----- I tried ok. I tried to fit in, to talk and bond. I gave up. It didnt work. I'm always the odd one. They provided for me, but never really cared. They didn't know how much it hurt when they didnt want to go for the prize ceremony. I came in 2nd in sch for PSLE damnit! Just a couple of hours, to be there, they didnt want. It took me a while to convince my dad to go. ----- I tried this on my maternal grandparents too. Grandpa Most memorable: Idk. Too many :') He used to take me to Sembawang park when I was small, watch me playing in the playground; Eating biscuits with me, walking with me to see the ppl fishing and look at their catch. He took me to the hill near his house when he played golf. He taught me how to, patiently. He watched science films with me and explained when I asked retarded questions. He brought me to Fosters' for ex western food on my birthday. Just 2 of us. It was really special. Every month last time he used to change a big white piece of paper on his table; Just so I could doodle and draw on it. He let me stay and enjoy aircon in his room; And chatted with me when I stayed over. He brought me to the Istana too on CNY last time :D If gone: This is very real, both of them are very old. He's healthy I guess, but alcoholic. I would cry. And miss him and him bringing me out and everything. Everything. Grandma Most memorable: She brought me out specially for meals. She stayed up and took care of me when I was ill. Really stayed up. Everynight when I stayed over we would pray together, just before bed. She'll patiently go through exam papers and taught me new words. Really patient. Watch tv and chat with me. Idk, but I'm sure there's more. Really lots more. Oh we bake awesome pineapple tarts together too :D If gone: I would cry and cry. The very thought makes me cry. She's the one that really brought me up. Laid the foundations of my morals and my life. She was old and could hv not cared; But she cared with everything she had. She's naggy, but I try my best to tolerate her. I guess I took her for granted. Whenever I've an award, I'll tell her first. She cares. ----- But those times were in Primary school. ----- I guess I'm scientific. Laying out evidence and asking questions. There's always upsides and downsides to everything. I am not obliged to love my parents; Who contributed to my chromosomes and welfare. The Bible says honour thy parents. I honour them, I'm grateful to them, but I do not love them. The conclusion is obvious. I love my maternal grandparents. I should tell them that sometime. ----- Jacelyn is a weird girl. There's lots nobody knows, or takes notice. ----- It's ok, the world is moving too quickly for anyone to stop and admire the view. ----- We all have our own stories. Carried with us to the grave.